August 27, 2009

Billy Madison

If you know me, you know I love Adam Sandler. I could sit and watch his movies all day. Does this speak volumes about what kind of person I am? I'm sure it does. My favorite Sandler flick will forever be Billy Madison. I could watch this movie over and over again. I can't tell you how many times I've seen it. I can quote every line. I will not change the channel if it's on. Even if there's only three minutes left, you can bet your ass I'm going to sit on the couch until it's over. Luckily enough, my husband loves it too. Please enjoy some of my favorite quotes from Billy Madison.

Billy: I'm sorry. I can't hear you. I've been physically abused in the ear! I see your lips moving, but I can't make out the words. I'm deaf!

Billy: I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before, and to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue duck.

Billy: The part in the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything. He just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think. You got a pet. You got a responsibility. If your dog is lost, you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that f***ing dog!

Billy: Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh really, fool?! Really!
Stop looking at me swan!

Billy: You ain't cool unless you pee your pants. Everybody my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.
Old Farm Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life!

Game Show Host: Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Old Man Clements: Who the hell is it? What do you want? Judas Priest, Barbara, it's one of those flaming bags again.
Wife: Don't put it out with your boots, Ted.
Old Man Clements: Don't tell me my business, devil woman. Call the fire department. This one's outta control! *sniffs* It's poop again. I'll get you damn kids for this. You're all gonna die!
Billy Madison: He called the shit "poop".

Maid: If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.

Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes. I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy.
Billy Madison: Lady, you're scaring us.

Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ass. I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean...
Billy Madison: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her GOT IT ON! Wooo-eee!
Billy Madison: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no, no they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, right?
Bus Driver: Everybody on? Good. Great. Grand. Wonderful. NO YELLING ON THE BUS!

August 25, 2009

Inglourious Basterds

The Hero and I saw Inglourious Basterds on Saturday. We loved it. The movie is pure genius. Brad Pitt and Christoph Waltz are amazing in it. Quentin Tarantino sure knows how to make a film. If you're not afraid of a little violence, I highly suggest you make time for Inglorious Basterds.

August 24, 2009

What did you call me?

I had several nicknames growing up. The first, Boomer, is from early childhood. I don't know whether my mom or dad started it. I also don't recall how or why it started. What I do know is that my mom still calls me Boomer from time to time. I know she does it to get on my nerves. When she calls me Boomer, I call her by her first name.

In high school, I had a couple of nicknames. The first being Musty. With my real name being Misty, this was the easiest variation. The guys especially liked it. Even though it's not a flattering nickname, I learned to deal with it.

Another was Mistro, pronounced like maestro. Angie, a girl I cheered with, came up with this one. I guess you could say it's also a variation of Misty. It stuck all through high school. Girls and guys called me Mistro for at least two or three years. It has always been my favorite nickname.

Cha Cha would be another. It didn't last long, but always makes me cackle when I think of it. If you've seen Grease, you're familiar with Cha Cha. She's the girl Danny took to the dance when he was broken up with Sandy. I reenacted a scene of hers in class one day. This guy, Adam, cracked up and never let me live it down. He was always asking me to do the Cha Cha thing again. It never fails to make me smile when I think about it.

What are your nicknames?

I stole this post idea from Shorty.

August 21, 2009

The Talk of Tinseltown
Celebrity Mug Shots

I'm currently at an offsite meeting, so I worked on this yesterday. I hope you enjoy it. I certainly had a lot of fun putting it together.

Old School
Jane Fonda - arrested for assault & battery after kicking a cop (1970)
Tim Allen - served 2.5 years for dealing cocaine (1979)
Al Pacino - arrested for carrying a concealed weapon (1961)

How Did I Not Know About This
Donnie Wahlberg - arrested on suspicion of arson

No, Not Him
Mel Gibson - arrested for DUI, but more well known for his anti-Semitic rant
Robert Downey Jr. - arrested for cocaine and methamphetamine possession

The Creepy
Paul Reubens aka Pee-Wee Herman - arrested for indecent exposure in an adult movie theatre
Andy Dick - arrested for possession of marijuana and sexual battery (pulling up the shirt and bra of a 17-year-old girl)

The Blondes
Paris Hilton - arrested for DUI and subsequent parole violations
Lindsay Lohan - arrested for DUI and cocaine possession
Mischa Barton - arrested for DUI
Heather Locklear - arrested for DUI

The Brunettes
Nicole Richie - arrested for DUI after driving on the wrong side of the road
Michelle Rodriguez - arrested for multiple DUIs and a hit-and-run
Heidi Fleiss - arrested for tax evasion in connection with her prostitution ring and illegal use of prescription drugs
Yasmine Bleeth - arrested for cocaine possession

The Hardcore
Snoop Dogg - arrested for possession of a deadly weapon
DMX - arrested for impersonating an officer, drug possession and cruelty to animals
Gary Dourdan - arrested for possession of heroin, cocaine and ecstacy
Lil Wayne - arrested for possession of marijuana, cocaine and ecstacy

The Old
James Brown - arrested for domestic violence
Phil Specter - currently serving 19 years for murder
Rip Torn - arrested for DUI
George Clinton - arrested after telling a police officer he had cocaine on him

Laugh Out Loud
Hugh Grant & Divine Brown - a John & his prostitute (self-explanatory)
Kid Rock - arrested for fighting at a Waffle House
Matthew McConaughey - arrested for possession of marijuana after police found him playing the bongo drums in the nude
Ryan & Redmond O'Neal - father & son arrested for drug possession

The Talk of Tinseltown was brought to you today by...

Katy Perry

August 14, 2009

The Talk of Tinseltown
Teen Choice Awards 2009

This entry, although late, still counts. It was posted exactly one minute before midnight. Whew!

Put down the knife. Rob and Megan aren't dating. I repeat... Rob and Megan aren't dating.

Heidi Montag posed for Playboy. According to her interview with the magazine, she has at least twenty orgasms a day with her husband. When did Spencer Pratt change his name to the Silver Bullet?

Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant after forgetting to take her birth control pills a time or two. I think it's a safe assumption that Kourtney, her baby daddy and their accidental spawn will get a reality show on E.

Michael Phelps was in a minor fender bender. His abs were not harmed in the accident.

Jeremy Piven has a new movie coming out called The Goods. He promoted it on an episode of Big Brother. Even he's disgusted.

Guitar legend, Les Paul, died at the age of 94. Rock on, dude.

Miley Cyrus needs a mentor.

Taylor Lautner needs to stop being so cute. I could go to jail.

Ashley Greene flashed a little too much pink. If you want your boyfriend to see you naked, invite him over for milk and cookies. (milk and cookies = sex) If you take a naked picture of yourself, expect him to share it with at least ten of his friends.

Kristen Stewart wore a skirt with knives on it. I think those are knives. It doesn't really matter. If she's trying to scare and piss off her fans, it's working. She should stop trying so hard. Her acting alone will do it.

Vanessa Hudgens had nude photos leak for the second time. I'll reiterate what Dane Cook said to her at the Teen Choice Awards.

"Girl, you gots to keep your clothes on. Phones are for phone calls, girl."

Britney Spears can clean up nice when she wants to. Why doesn't she want to every day?

Kate didn't approve of a babysitter Jon hired to watch their kids. This would be the babysitter he hired to watch the kids while he was at home. This would also be the babysitter he likes to have sexy times with once the kids go to sleep. Kate showed up. He locked her out. She called the police. I'm sorry, but this sounds an awful lot like an episode of COPS.

The Talk of Tinseltown was brought to you today by...

Cameron Diaz

August 12, 2009

The Pretty People

There's not much to say. I love that her dress has pockets. I love that there's a Hooters sign behind her in the third picture. I love that he's rocking the gray in his goatee. I can't wait to see Inglourious Basterds.

August 10, 2009

The Derby

Mama Kat has no idea what she started. She asked her readers what they would wear to the Kentucky Derby. If my mom had a Bucket List, going to the Kentucky Derby would be at the top. Not only have I been searching for outfits all day, but I've been checking out ticket prices for May 2010. Yes, it's expensive, but not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. The hat I want costs as much as the cheapest seats. Go figure.

If I were going to The Derby, this is similar to what I'd want to wear. I say similar because one day of internet shopping will not result in a final decision. I don't know why, but I feel I must wear a yellow dress to The Derby. Do you know how hard it is to find a cute yellow dress this late in the summer? Hard. Very Hard.

I've been daydreaming about The Derby all day. Do I see green grass? Do I see a track? Do I see tiny dudes and muscular horses? No. All I can see are celebrities. You can bet your ass I'm going to meet someone famous at The Derby even if I have to spill a drink on them.

August 07, 2009

The Talk of Tinseltown
Blondes + Vampires

Eric Dane from Grey's Anatomy took off his shirt and talked on the phone.

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore's plane had to make an emergency landing yesterday after the engine overheated.

Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan partied hard together the other night. Britney, you've been doing so well. Don't muck it up by hanging with Livin' La Vida Lohan.

Ashley Olsen's featured in next month's Marie Claire. I will always think of Full House when I see the Olsen twins, Bob Saget or John Stamos. I loved that show.

Isn't she pretty?

Paula Abdul will not be returning to American Idol after eight seasons with the show. It won't be the same without her. Who will I laugh at when she's gone?

Screech from Saved by the Bell wrote a tell-all book about the cast which includes tales of drugs and sex. I may have seen several of the episodes eight or nine times, but I have zero interest in reading this garbage.

John Hughes passed away yesterday from a heart attack. He was responsible for movies like Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Home Alone, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Weird Science. I don't know about you, but I watch Home Alone every year at Christmas time.

Steven Tyler of Aerosmith fell of a concert stage in South Dakota. He's recuperating from head, neck and shoulder injuries.

Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer from True Blood announced their engagement this week. I guess Bill wasn't kidding when he said, "Sookie is mine."

The Talk of Tinseltown was brought to you today by...

Brad Pitt