June 03, 2010

Irrational Fear
Cruise Ships


Some may consider my fear of cruise ships to be irrational. I, however, do not.

Reasons I Do Not Want To Go On A Cruise

1. I don't know how to play shuffleboard.

2. You're floating in the middle of nowhere.

3. If I get car sick, I'm sure to get sea sick.

4. The ship could sink. Everyone could die.

5. I could get drunk and fall overboard. I could die.

6. Someone could throw me overboard. Again, I could die.

7. My murderer could go free because of jurisdiction issues.
It's a real thing. I saw it on Investigation Discovery.

8. OMG, PIRATES!

9. The power could go out causing food to go bad and sewer systems to stop working.
Toilets could overflow causing poop to go everywhere.

10. A passenger could bring a nasty virus onto the ship causing everyone on board to get sick.



Seriously, people! Why would I ever want to go on a cruise?

36 comments:

Cathy said...

Other reasons to fear cruise ships: Lots of old people, bad food, lame drinks, scheduled dinner time, did I mention the old people?

meredith said...

i'm with ya... i've never been on a cruise either, and i don't plan to. it seems like lots of murders take place on cruise ships.

gringationcancun said...

If I'm going to spend the money, I'd rather just go to a hotel somewhere nice and really get to know just the one area.

Being in the middle of the ocean, with super-touristy land activities thrown in there, just doesn't sound authentic to me.

Beck said...

I'm so with you on this one. I'm not even the slightest bit interested in taking a cruise. Every person I know who has been on one says it takes like a day and a half to get used to the motion and for the nausea to subside. WHY even go, so not worth it! Doesn't sound at all fun to me. No thank you (:

Shorty said...

I'm right there with ya!

There could be a fire! There could be pirates! Plus I hear the cabins are super duper small. Not my idea of relaxing in your quarters.

MrsDixon said...

I feel your pain and totally agree! No cruise ships for me....no row boats, canoes, or rafts either!

MiMi said...

Oh, I know!!
Hello, like once a month or so someone is brutally murdered or disappears on a cruise these days!

Stacy said...

Dude, cruises are awesome! And I've been on a ton and I always have a great time. I went on the Queen Mary 2's maiden voyage (at that time, it was the biggest ship in the world)and somebody killed themselves by jumping off the boat! Suicide note and everything. Then another person had a heart attack and had to be heli-ported to a nearby hospital. It was a rough week for the captain, I'm sure! But that's the only time anything crazy happened and at least it wasn't to me! Despite what you've heard, as long as you're a decently intelligent human being, you should be fine while on board! You're more likely to get pick pocketed at one of the land destinations than have anything happen to you on the boat. So try it out! I bet you'd have a great time!

SurferWife said...

Girl. You are a total whack job to be missing out on cruises. Especially with little kids. It is the most family friendly way to travel.

You could also die on planes, trains and automobiles.

Whatevs, more food for me to eat from the buffet without you there, I guess.

A Real Housewife said...

i've been on a cruise and wouldn't go again. you're stuck on a boat with people EVERYWHERE....after a day and a half you've seen & done every stupid activity, the food isn't that great, and the port stops are much too short. no thanks. i'm much more of a destination traveler.

Amo said...

I went on a cruise once and was a little freaked out about how we were in the middle of nowhere. But, it was really amazing to see dolphins in the distance. Thank goodness I didn't see a shark fin - that would have been the end of my cruising.

Karen said...

I've never been on a cruise. I've always wanted to, but there's, like, dysentery outbreaks and stuff.

Plus there's all that water.

Date Girl said...

Yeah I'm with Karen-my issue is the possibility of getting sick. I don't know if I get sea sick either, and wouldn't that be a bitch to find out while I'm out to sea for DAYS!
But I think I'd still be willing to give it a shot.

Sharlene T. said...

I love cruises -- BUT not for the scads of people, the small rooms or the little touch of nausea if you're not sitting at a middle table in the dining room. You get to eat at all hours and the kitchen will make you gigantic sandwiches for FREE, you can climb to the top and enjoy the lifeboats for -- whatever...you can stand on the prow and spread your arms and Leonardo DiCaprio will help you 'fly.' And you save oodles of money because they ship is never in port long enough to use it all up! It's only in perspective. Take a chance. Bad things happen everywhere, but at least if you go down with the boat you're back in the food chain helping our planet........

Sherrie said...

I've never been on an cruise...well, a dinner cruise or two, but nothing longer than that. I do want to go on one though.

BTW, DH and I are headed to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge for our 10th anniversary. Since you're from TN, I thought I'd ask if there was anything that is a must-do for us????

Thanks!

Christina said...

Don't forget about the nasty flu everyone seems to get. Hahaha!

I love cruising. I've been on three and they are so relaxing and easy with kids. We always get a balcony room so we don't feel claustrophobic. And most of the time, you can see the land. That always makes me feel better. But this is all from a person who hates to fly...

PeaceLoveApplesauce said...

All of the above.. but i still wanna book one!
When we become well known $tripper$, we're so there!

Kiki said...

i don't think your fear of cruise ships is irrational. i too suffer from cruisitis. my in-laws have been on 3 of them and i will never, ever go on one. but you left out bacterial infections, specifically, stomach bugs or flus. i hate the trots. i just say, "told you so" when the news reports of a ship-wide outbreak of infections. i also fear the pirates. a guy from my town was allegedly murdered on a cruise. so sad. take care.

Mighty M said...

I will think twice before I cruise - so far I've never been!

Shelley said...

Because cruise's are amaaaazing!! There is like more of a chance of crashing in a plane or being eaten by a lion at a zoo than being on a cruise ship that sinks nowadays. We have come a long way since Titanic!!

Natalie said...

hahaha! I love this post!! I have this weird "I think I might like a cruise minus the ocean" thing. I think the idea of it sounds super fun, but I am afraid of it sinking (like the titanic) and then getting eaten by sharks. Seriously. I also think about this when I go over bridges. I think it might take a lot for my hubby to get me on a cruise. :)

Salt said...

I have always been on the fence about cruises. I feel like not being able to see land would bother me. Plus I get seasick.

Plus I don't like being murdered.

T-Charry said...

i SO feel you on this girl, you have NO reason to think it's crazy! I watch too much TV therefore, I am TERRIFIED to go on one, but I want to SO bad! And big bodies of water *smh*, I just CAN'T do because it seems like there is NO end to the water and it's SO DARK underneath you LOL!

chasity said...

hilarious....
i haven't had to deal with this problem in life yet.
:)
chasity
@ the wild raspberry

Tara said...

i've been on a cruise and i got super sea sick. i would still go on another one! it was a lot of fun. i would be more concerned about all the cruises lately where tons of people have gotten sick and had to be quarantined.

Allison said...

I'd say the best reason to go is .... lots of food! And I think the food is good -- but I may be easy to please :) The best part is that you can order 2 or 3 desserts each night and the waiter doesn't even act like that is strange!

Lacie @ Creative Attempts said...

I totally understand these fears I have been on two cruises and felt all these feelings both times but if you can believe it you almost forget you are on a boat lol. Next time I think we will try an all inclusive resort I hear those are fun

Nikosmommy said...

Totally valid points. But I'd go on a cruise for the food alone. Buffet? yes please...

Lisa - Fine Sweet Life said...

Three bad reasons: The food is low quality, you are on a schedule and they have stupid drills too that you have to go and do. But the worst reason IS the CRAPPY food. It's like eating at a diner.

April said...

LMAO!!! I have been on the Disney Cruise twice ... it was fab.u.lous!!!
Girl, you crack me up!!

jackie said...

I'm with you on this. I've been on a cruise, but lately when my husband mentions going on another, these are the exact thoughts that come to mind. Plus, I can't swim.

Olivia Carter said...

You know, I've been on 2 cruises (honeymoon & with our extended family) and I didn't LOVE either of them. The honeymoon was nice b/c our food was all taken care of, and we didn't need to rent a car, or worry about hotels and saw lots of places but I just felt SO closed off and weird on the boat.

When we went with the family I had Syd and Berto and that was STRESSFUL! I was sure they were going to fall off the boat. I didn't enjoy that one AT ALL.

And I didn't even think about the murder thing.

That's it. I'm swearing them off. You sold me.

Dezzy Lou Where Are You said...

For me its an insane fear of the ocean at night. My mom works on a cruise ship and I dont know how she does it- the thought of all those people crammed onto the ships makes me claustrophobic!

Coma Girl said...

Ditto! I've been on 4 cruises. Never again.

And my husband always jokes that if I suggest another cruise, he knows that it would only be because I'm plotting his death.

Krista said...

Cruising is like flying, with as many flights there are in one day, around the world, how often does something happen. Hardly ever, but when it does, it gets a crap load of press. I took my firefighter on his first cruise 6 years ago. He said he'd never go, we've been on 4 since. Best vacations ever.

Lauren @ Lot Forty Eight said...

there are so many things that are scary about a cruise but they are so fun!