January 31, 2011

Man Week
Justin Timberlake

I'm going to start off Man Week with a tribute to one of my favorite Memphians, Justin Timberlake.

Today, JT turns 30!

Singer, Dancer, Songwriter, Actor, Sex Symbol

Justin's doin' it, doin' it and doin' it well.

Here are a few of my favorite JT moments on video.

with Britney Spears & Christina Aguilera on Mickey Mouse Club

NSYNC - It's Gonna Be Me

SNL - Liquorville

SNL - Dick In A Box

Cry Me A River


Happy birthday, Justin!

2011 SAG Awards Fashion, Part IV
Final Thoughts

Hot Pink Mess

I love the color on Jennifer Lawrence, but...
I don't like the style, the hair, the makeup, or the shoes.

Most Improved

Tina Fey always looks ok to me.
This time she nailed it.
Bravo, Tina!

Best Dressed

I'm not a big fan of prints, but this dress is gorgeous.
The color looks great on her. The styling is perfect.
Mila Kunis looks superb.

2011 SAG Awards Fashion, Part III

Angie Harmon & Jason Sehorn

Jon Hamm & Steve Carell

Helena Bonham Carter & Natalie Portman

Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban

Tracy Morgan & Jane Krakowski

Hilary Swank & Mark Wahlberg

Mark Ruffalo & Jeremy Renner

Claire Danes & Hugh Dancy, Mark Wahlberg & Rhea Durham, Christian & Sibi Blazic

I love Angie Harmon. She's so cute.
Helena Bonham Carter, surprisingly enough, didn't dress all kinds of crazy.
I love Nicole and Keith together. They look so happy.
Mark's wife is so so so pretty. I'm jealous.

2011 SAG Awards Fashion, Part II

January Jones, Jenna Fischer

Amy Adams, Winona Ryder, Natalie Portman

Sofia Vergara, Eva Longoria, Lea Michele

Valerie Bertinelli, Julianna Marguiles, Tina Fey

Claire Danes, Hailee Steinfeld, Mila Kunis

Hilary Swank, Heather Morris, Angie Harmon, Jayma Mays

I don't love or hate January's dress, but she pulls it off with her glam hair.
Jenna never seems to get it right. I don't get it.
I'm not loving any of the white dresses.
Sofia, Eva and Lea all look fabulous.
Julianna and Tina both look great in red.
Claire's dress is different, but I like it. It looked beautiful on tv.
Oh, Mila! I heart you.
I'm digging the last group of dresses. They all chose well.

2011 SAG Awards Fashion, Part I

Before I kick off Man Week, I want to do a quick fashion recap in case you missed last night's SAG Awards.

Nicole Kidman, Christina Hendricks

Dianna Agron, Amber Riley

Kyra Sedgwick, Julie Bowen

Sarah Hyland, Kim Kardashian

Annette Benning, Rosario Dawson

Jane Krakowski, Melissa Leo

Susan Sarandom, Mariska Hargitay

I think Sarah and Rosario both chose a color that worked for them.
I love that Julie's rocking the fancy pantsuit.
I think Annette looks fantastic.
The rest are booo-ring.

January 28, 2011

Ladies, get ready.

Next week, I am turning Handbags & Handguns over to men.

If this isn't a genius idea, I don't know what is.

They'll be answering questions and telling it like it is.

Trust me.

You won't want to miss this.

January 27, 2011

Jaw Porn for the Ladies

Did you know

that when you Google the words

jaw porn

pictures of Robert Pattinson

suddenly appear?

Go on. Try it.

January 25, 2011

It's the little things.

clean sheets
chips and dip
my blog comments
temps above freezing
new tunes on my ipod
yoga pants and t-shirts
finding cash in my wallet
my flannel electric blanket
a new episode of modern family
my son telling me he loves me, unprompted
the puppy sleeping in her kennel without crying
having cute rain boots to wear when it's muddy outside
free breakfast at work when i don't have time to eat at home
a best friend who texts me exactly what i'm about to text her, verbatim

January 24, 2011

The Talk of Tinseltown
Oh, George

Regis Philbin, 79, announced he'll soon be retiring from Live with Regis & Kelly. He said it's because it's time, but rumors are swirling that ABC was going to cut his pay because the show's ratings are suffering. Regis told Kelly about his retirement moments before the show went live. There's early whisperings that Ryan Seacrest could be in the running since his contract with American Idol is up soon. I'd totally watch Ryan with Kelly. I love him. It will be sad to see Regis go though. He's a television icon.

Nadya Suleman, the Octomom, recently filmed a baby fetish video at her home. She's dressed as a dominatrix and whips a grown man dressed as a baby. She's turned down numerous offers to do porn, but settled for this instead since she's got bills to pay. Seriously though... she's just knocking on porn's door.

Christina Aguilera recently attended Jeremy Renner's 40th birthday bash. Why is this news you ask? Well, first of all, she wasn't invited. Second of all, she got extremely drunk, made an ass of herself and passed out in his bed. The story then leaked to US Weekly. Renner denies it ever happened and Christina's not saying a word. Let's all pretend it's true because it makes for a fabulous story.

It was announced a few days ago that Anne Hathaway will play Catwoman in the next Batman film, The Dark Knight Rises. I'll be honest and say that I'm not a huge Anne fan. I don't hate her, but I don't love her either. She hasn't done anything to blow me away. Something about her irks me. However, I will try and reserve judgment until the film comes out. I trust that Christopher Nolan knows what he's doing. In case you didn't know, I'm a total guy when it comes to this series. So, who is as anxious as I am to see this movie?

Jesse James and Kat Von D announced their engagement seven months after Jesse's divorce from Sandra Bullock. I hope these two are very happy together. I'm all for tattoos, but who the hell thinks it's pretty or sexy to put them ON YOUR FACE?

Nicole Kidman amd Keith Urban had a baby girl via a surrogate right after Christmas, but kept the news a secret for almost a month. Faith Margaret joins baby sister Sunday Rose. Congrats to the super cute couple!

George Clooney contracted Malaria on a recent trip to Sudan. His rep says he's completely over the infection. Raise your hand if you're disappointed you didn't get to nurse him back to health.

The Talk of Tinseltown was brought to you today by...

the best Batman ever, Christian Bale

January 21, 2011

I'm a puker. How about you?

Everyone loves a good drunken puke story. I've got several. Why not share them with you... cause it's Friday, you ain't got no job and you ain't got shit to do.

1. I've thrown up twice in my hands. The first time was in a downtown Memphis club called Have A Nice Day Cafe. I downed a Happy Bowl with one of my girlfriends. What's a Happy Bowl? It's a large bucket filled with a liquored fruity concoction and several straws. It's probably meant to be shared by three our four people. I drank it really fast. I'm guessing I didn't have anything for dinner. I made this mistake a lot. The sickness hit me pretty fast. I took off running for the bathroom, but didn't quite make it. I started to puke in my hands. I caught about 75% of it. The rest ended up on my jeans. My BFF Kelly helped me clean up. A girl in the bathroom was extremely understanding. "Girl, I have so been there." I was escorted home shortly after.

2. The second time I threw up in my hands was at a bar in Nashville. I was in town for a tanning conference. If you're new to my blog, I was a tanning salon manager for five years. Anyway, shots were being ordered and paid for by people I didn't know. A nice girl from Memphis doesn't turn down free tequila shots. I'd already had a few Smirnoff Ice. What would two or three shots of tequila hurt? At this point, even though I was a seasoned drinker, I knew I was going to throw up and soon. I ran to the bathroom, puked into my hands as I passed the bar and finished up in the bathroom. I didn't get any vomit on my clothes or shoes. I didn't even get any in my hair. I rinsed my mouth out, threw a stick of gum in my mouth and went back to dance the night away. Now that is what I call a WIN!

3. I've got another tequila story for you. My BFF and I shared a fifth of tequila one night. I made it until the end of the night before I started to feel ill. This was one of those nights where I wanted to throw up more than anything because I knew I'd feel better. I might have said this out loud when a guy started talking to me about bean burritos from Taco Bell. He knew the thought of eating one would make me throw up. He was right. Might I mention that he lived across the street from an elementary school... I just happened to be lying on the cold concrete of the school parking lot when this occurred. I threw up in a metal grate. Classy!

4. The Hero and I had just started dating. He and I went to one of my friend's houses. There were eight to ten people there. We were drinking before heading to the club. I drank one too many Screwdrivers and ended up dancing on the island in the kitchen. Several of us stood up on the island to shake our booties a time or two. I ended up sitting down and straddle dancing on the thing. I shook my head around a little too hard one time and cracked my nose and face on the surface. I just knew I had broken my nose and was waiting for the gush of blood, but it never came. So, you guessed it, I continued to drink. When we finally loaded up in the car to go to the club, it was only then that I started to get nauseous. We made it a block or two when I rolled down the window and puked. We stopped at a car wash so they could wash the white Nissan Pathfinder we were in and took me back to the house to rest. I slept it off and went home. I was so disappointed that I didn't make it to the club.

5. Last, but not least, there's the night I drank PGA Punch. If you don't know what this is, you're missing out. It's Pure Grain Alcohol mixed with Kool-Aid. I had two large cups of this yummy punch. I had never had it before. I was enjoying the hell out of it because it tasted just like Kool-Aid. You couldn't taste the alcohol at all. Why didn't I think this was a bad thing? Fast forward thirty or forty-five minutes, I'm sitting at a table with friends. The next thing I know my BFF is shaking me awake because I passed out mid-conversation. What do you think happened next? I ran for the bathroom and puked red for what seemed like an hour. Thankfully, the red wasn't blood. It was just that damned cherry Kool-Aid I was telling you about. I can tell you this. I never ever drank PGA Punch again.

Now, I only drink once or twice a year minus the occasional cocktail. I'm not sure why I ever did that to myself. It's not like I knew I'd be blogging about it years later.

So, do you have any drunken puke stories to share?

January 19, 2011

Something every woman should know before giving birth

No one ever told me about the 'pee issues' I'd experience after giving birth. When I laugh, I pee a little. When I sneeze, I pee a little. When someone scares me, I pee a little. Sometimes, when I sit down, I pee a little. Sometimes, when I stand up, I pee a little. Sometimes, like this week, I lose all bladder control and wet my pants for no apparent reason. By wet my pants, I mean I had to go put on another pair. My mom didn't share this with me. My girlfriends didn't share this with me. My doctor didn't share this with me. I didn't exactly ask, but that's not the point.

Who thinks to ask, "Will I piss myself occasionally after having a baby?" "Will I need to keep an extra set of clothes in my car, so I don't smell like urine all day?" "When I pee in the restroom, will it be so loud that I want to cry out in embarrassment?" "Should I call ahead to places I'm going, to find out where their restroom is located, so I can get there as fast as possible when I arrive?" "Will my husband think I'm crazy when I can't make it home from the restaurant and have him stop somewhere in between so I don't pee in his truck?"

No woman ever thinks to ask these things. Loss of bladder control should have its own chapter in every pregnancy book. It should be on the warning label of both birth control pills and condoms. Hell, somebody should put it on a billboard. And yes, I did the Kegel exercises the doctor suggested. Those can only help so much. Some things will never be the same after giving birth. This just happens to be one of them. If you read this, you can't say you haven't been warned. From one human to another, I beg of you, please pass this on.

Bonus Fun Fact:

Ever notice how Britney Spears is always using public restrooms?

Ever sat and wondered why?

Girlfriend's had two kids.


I apologize if I made any of you moms out there pee a little just now.

I can sympathize. I peed no less than three times while putting this post together.

January 18, 2011

iLove Tuesday Tunes
Don't You Wanna Stay

I grew up listening to country music. I owned Ropers and Wranglers in high school. I was an expert line dancer. Now, I hardly ever listen to country tunes. I only hear the songs that crossover to the pop stations. This is one of those songs. I downloaded it immediately after hearing it. I simply can't get enough of this beautiful song.

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way.
Don't you wanna stay?

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