February 08, 2011

Gripe of the Day; Elevator Etiquette

Elevator etiquette is pretty simple.

If you need to get on an elevator, make sure no one needs to get off of it first.

Elevator doors open.

Stop.

Pause.

Wait for person(s) to exit.

Enter.



Do you know how often this rule is broken? It drives me insane. I literally have to jump off of the elevator so I don't end up taking an unneccessary ride with some idiot who doesn't have common sense.



This post reminds me of a list I once read. These are 'Fun Things To Do in an Elevator' by Adam Sandler.

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
4. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
5. Crack open your briefcase or purse and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
6. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
7. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
8. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
9. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
10. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
11. When at least 8 people have gotten on, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
12. Meow occassionally.
13. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "Oops!"
14. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
15. Stare at another passenger for a while then announce, "You're one of THEM" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
16. Start a sing-along.
17. Say "Ding" at each floor.
18. Lean against the button panel.
19. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
20. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
21. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
22. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
23. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."

20 comments:

JG said...

BAHAHAHA never seen that list and was laughing the entire way through. Love me some Sandler. What do you think of the new movie with the curse of the Aniston?

Rachel said...

The best is when someone gets on the elevator while you move to get off and they practically knock into you and say "oh, I'm sorry". Uh, no actually you're not, you're just an asshole.

Michelle said...

You crack me up!

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

You have just given me some great material for all my hotel elevator rides while in New Orleans! Thank you girl and thank you Adam Sandler!!!!

P.S. I am SO going to see his new movie this weekend!

Jenn said...

Love the list...those are pretty funny! :)

MiMi said...

Number 5 would be amazeballs. I want to do that!

Shana said...

People do the same rude thing on the subway. Sometimes I want to follow the people getting on to their stop to see if they get mad when someone gets on before they get off.

People are jerks.

Great list.

PeaceLoveApplesauce said...

Ugh, that drove me CRAZY when I worked at MMSFG!!

Hilarious list!! I dare you to try one or two..

Mighty M said...

It is amazing how many people forget that one little rule!

Judith @ Creating Balance said...

Seriously...one of my pet peeves, too. I work in a hospital...so you can imagine how many times a day I want to scream: 'Can I get out first!!??' geez!

Surfrgrl said...

I work in the elevator business and I tell you it amazes me how people are. Thanks for the list. It will give me something to do to entertain myself during my work day!

Alicia xoxxo said...

OMG! This is one of my biggest pet peeves! I can NOT stand it when people are trying to get on the elevator when others are still trying to get off!!!! I just want to smack those people!!!!

gringationcancun said...

At my office, people are pretty cool about the elevator. People are let off before anyone gets on, the men let the ladies go first, etc. It's very nice.

The only problem is the 3rd-floor people, who travel in packs. They'll stuff as many people as possible into the elevator. Very annoying.

jennykate77 said...

I've read that list before and it totally cracks me up. I just started laughing at my desk thinking about it...I may try a few on my way down to the car later. I'm thinking #1, #17, and #25. They all seem to go together. Dontcha think?

People really do need to learn some elevator etiquette! Top o' the list...no farting.

purseblogger said...

LOVE the list. I may dare try some of those.

Michelle Hoad said...

My boys have a list of ways to get kicked out of a McDonalds. They are actually pissed that I won't let them do any of them.

Ashley said...

Omg I agree! With spending a month practically at the hospital and all of the doctors appointments I took alot of elevator rides and without fail every time some clueless person would try to run into me while I was trying to get off! And I was pregnant! Not a fun thing to run into. :)

Love the list!

MommaKiss said...

love me some adam sandler. i could do the personal space thing, easily.

Date Girl said...

heheh, I read this list in high school and wanted to do them. We used to jump in the elevator at the right moment to get that "floating" feeling in college. We were usually wasted. That list reminds me of Elf, where he presses all of the buttons. "Ohhh it looks like a christmas tree!"

Karen Peterson said...

That list is great. And I couldn't agree more. What is up with people not bothering to wait for others to get off?