1. I'm working.
2. That shit cray.
Seriously, what possesses people to do this? I get that there are some incredible deals, but unless an entire bedroom suit is less than $300, Kid Rock will be there signing autographs and there's free Hostess orange cupcakes, you can count me out every single time. You couldn't pay me to set my alarm to shop alongside people throwin' bows. In Memphis, we have this neighborhood called Frayser. It's where I grew up. Needless to say, I'd have to get Frayser on some folks. Translation: break out the white trash. Believe me, we all have an inner white trash girl just dying to get out from time to time. For me, she's rarely seen or heard, but if you cut me off in traffic or shove me in a store, IT'S ON! One of these days, she might get me arrested.
So, if you shop on Black Friday, what the hell do you buy?