June 12, 2013

Don't be THAT asshole on the road.




1. Ladies, do not put your makeup on in the car.
If you can't find time to put it on at home, you deserve to look like a hood rat all day.

2. Use your blinker! Use your blinker! Use your blinker!
If you are making a turn, use your blinker. That's what it's there for.
However, don't be the person who drives for miles with their blinker on for no reason.
Nine times out of ten, your blinker will cut off automatically.
The one time it doesn't, reach your hand out and turn it off yourself.
Don't tell me you can't hear that shit.

3. Unless someone is about to crash into you, don't honk your horn.
Honking for no reason is annoying.
Honking because someone is driving too slow is annoying.
Honking as a form of communication in general is annoying.

4. Don't weave in and out of bumper-to-bumper traffic.
This is not going to help you get to your destination any faster.
It will help you get the middle finger though.

5. Don't tailgate.
Tailgating only angers the person you're behind and makes them want to slow down.
If someone's going too slow, wait for them to get out of your way or go around them.
When the speed limit is 70 and most people are doing 80+, it's not their fault you'd rather go 100.
It's a public road, not a Fast & Furious movie.

6. If you are going to drive an enormous gas guzzling SUV, know how to park it.
Otherwise, get yourself a Miata.
The white lines in parking lots are there for a reason.
You are supposed to park in between them.
I don't need scratches on my car because you can't park.
I also don't want to park far away because you've taken up three spaces.

20 comments:

Rachel @ front row seat said...

I am amening to my computer to every point!! These are all huge pet peeves of mine!! Memphis drivers are the worst around!

Mrs. Match said...

lol, I couldn't agree more. I hate giant SUVs that take up the entire parking lot. I think people just don't have any manners these days. I hate tailgaters too-thanks for risking my family's life so you can get to that fast food restaurant half a min sooner fatty. Thanks.

Monica said...

Living in China has made me despise horns on cars. I seriously want to strangle people on a daily basis.

Southern Sass said...

Haha I agree to every single one!! I really hate when people don't use their blinkers!!!

Lindsey said...

You said hood rat! Haha! You couldn't deny being from the 901 if you tried. I agree with all the above!

Deals, Steals and Heels said...

no lie, last month i came out of CVS to see this lady sitting in a big-ass SUV that was running, and i literally couldn't get in my car, she was so close. and i didn't even feel bad about watching her climb over from the passenger seat and back the dang thing up, BECAUSE IF YOU CAN'T PARK IT CORRECTLY, DON'T DRIVE IT. omg.

Karen M. Peterson said...

Preach it!

Tarsha @ SouthernGirl. CitySwirl said...

All.Of.This!!!

Kenzie @ Life in the Sunshine said...

Last Night on my way home, I followed this driver going 10mph under the speed limit. All because she was on her cell phone texting. I could see the beam of her phone from my car. No lie, right then and there I thought to myself, "have to do a post on annoying things people who while driving."
I love all your points, and I agree with every single on of them.

Laura B @ Walking in Memphis in High Heels said...

Good rat haha. My biggest pet peeve is the blinker thing and the honking thing. I feel like no one uses blinkers anymore and they almost change lanes into my vehicle because I out on my blinker to change lanes and they didn't. So annoying and be honking thing. I have almost ran off the road because it scared the crap out of me. Also people who constantly ride their brakes for no reason. Ugghh! Now I'm fired up haha!

KatyK said...

Lol loves it! Even though I"m a little road ragey...and occasionally put on lipgloss at a stop light. :)

Kelly @ turned UP to ELEVEN! said...

You are so spot on with the blinker and everything for that matter.

I HATE dudes and chicks around here that drive "BIG OLE' PICK-UP TRUCKS" (please read that in a really redneck southern drawl that is how I said it) "AND I CAN PARK WHERE EVER THE F I WANT!!!" Really? You can fit that thing in one space, maybe two if it's a long bed, and if you really need that much space, park at the BACK of the lot, not by the front door.

Most of this stuff boils down to common courtesy. Most people these days don't have a courteous bone in their bodies and it drives me nuts, when did we all get so entitled? (wow rant, much?) ;)

Seriously though the blinker, use it people. Most people are too busy talking on cell phones like walkie talkies, doing make-up or just don't feel like it's a need. I also hate the people that turn on the blinker AS they are turning? WTF? It's a warning mechanism people!

Don't: Talk on the phone, Text (I HATE THIS), do your make-up, eat a bowl of noddles (totally saw this once) or do anything that distracts you from driving your car.

You can eat french fries fresh from the bag, that takes one hand, but don't sit there and try to eat you ice cream sundae while driving...

Whew I feel better.

*** Please note to all that drive big ole' pick-up trucks and now how to be nice and park away from others and only take up spaces not in use that comment was NOT directed at you but to the Ass hat that I see at the mall and at the grocery store all the time that does this... jerk!

Kelly @ turned UP to ELEVEN! said...

PS What's with people reading books while driving? I've seen this a lot. HELLOOOO they make audio books now people!

And yes, it was a book, not directions to where they were going, a book!!!!

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

Blinker! YES! I'm not sure why people don't use their blinkers. Drives me crazy!

Kat@shop.school.sleep. said...

can this be made into a giant poster to put on the car? I totally agree with the speed limit is 65 (here in CA), you're driving 70-80...what more do you want? I am not getting a speeding ticket because the driver behind me wants to drive 90-100!! But i disagree about the honking because you're going to slow..here in CA people will drive 50-55 in the "fast" lane!! soo annoying and that is one way to cause an accident!!

SHUG IN BOOTS {Beth} said...

i HATE when people can't park their shit!
i hate when people pull out in front of you and go 15 under the speed limit when THERE WAS NOBODY BEHIND YOU AND THEY COULD HAVE FRIGGIN WAITED! dayum.

Christine Bewley said...

I can't stand it when people don't use their dang blinker!

Teri M said...

My friend took a picture of a gal putting mascara on while driving down the freeway at 70MPH. Nuts. My friend wasn't driving as she captured that picture though - another no no. :-)

Shelley said...

I was driving behind a girl putting tons of makeup on yesterday. She was swerving around other cars and then sped off onto the freeway. Some people!!

Christina said...

Amen! Seattle has really bad traffic, but out of towners have all noticed how polite we are. Always letting people in and waving a thank you. Haha! The blinker thing pisses me off and Jacob never uses him! I scream at him and he switches it on in the middle of his turn. It infuriates me!!!