May 21, 2014

10 Ways Your Thirties
Are Not Your Twenties

1. As much as I'd like to run errands in my pajama pants, I just can't do it anymore. After your freshman year of college, I strongly suggest making the switch to yoga pants.

2. I can't stay out all night, get drunk and go to work hungover the next morning. Once you pass a certain age, your body doesn't allow this to happen anymore. Trust me. I've tried. This is what sick days are for.

3. I don't know what it's like to sleep in on the weekend. My kids have internal alarm clocks that go off early 7 days a week. They also have sports every Saturday morning. Not to mention the long list of things I need to accomplish... might as well get up and get something done!

4. Nothing in my house is white. No white couches. No white carpet. No white floors. No white walls. You've heard of Cheetos dust and Kool-Aid stains, right?

5. When I drink, it's not for fun. It's because I am overworked, overtired and stressed out. I drink so I don't murder anyone.

6. Even though I'm constantly tired, I always stay up too late. If I don't, I would never get to read or watch tv without an audience.

7. I can never eat a meal without having to get up from the table at least once, be it at home or a restaurant. Where's my drink? I need another paper towel! Can I have some ketchup? I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!

8. My body doesn't look like it did when I was 22, and it never will again. I have to work harder than ever to stay fit. It's not fun.

9. The stress in your thirties is real. I'm stressed about time. I'm stressed about money. I'm stressed for my kids. I'm stressed about the future. I'm stressed about the grey hair I need to cover up. I'm stressed about the lines around my eyes. I'm stressed about how much my body hurts even though I haven't done a damn thing. I'm stressed about being stressed.

10. On a positive note, I know who I am. I know my likes and dislikes. I know what I want and what I don't want. And when I look in the mirror, I'm happy with who I see. Confidence is sexy, y'all.

You should definitely enjoy all the fun and perks of being in your twenties, but I'm not lying when I say that your thirties can be fabulous. Just remember to get more sleep, drink more water and keep your alcohol intake in check. And find a great babysitter!

And, last but not least, surround yourself with people who make you better.

May 19, 2014

2014 Billboard Music Awards Fashion

I watched the Billboard Music Awards last night.

The show was mostly boring, but I did enjoy the fashion.

Shakira looks great.
I'm not digging Sarah's look.

I don't like Jordin's hair.
Chrissy's dress is fun and different.

Damn, Danica! Dancing with the Stars does a body good.
I like Miranda's dress, but do I like it on her?

I feel like J.Lo's worn this already.
Iggy looks overdressed.

Nicki looks great, but I wish the bottom part of her boobs didn't show.
They're pretty girls, but I'm not a fan of either look.

Natasha looks ridiculous.
I don't hate Lucy's dress, but it's too long.

This dress doesn't seem very Kesha to me.

I really like the shoulder and bust detail.
I also really hate the color.

May 16, 2014

The Importance of Not Being
a Distracted Driver

The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) and the Auto Alliance have come together to increase awareness about the risks of distracted driving. Their Decide to Drive campaign aims to empower drivers and passengers to speak up about distracted driving and reduce distracted behaviors behind the wheel. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, there were 3,328 roadway fatalities in 2012 and approximately 421,000 injuries in distracted driving-related crashes. As someone who is in an automobile almost every single day, this is a growing problem I've become all too familiar with.


I have no problem admitting I'm a phone person. My phone is always within arm's reach. I use it to talk, text and email. I use it to take pictures. I use it to shop. I use it to find places. I use it for important dates and reminders. If I don't have my phone, I feel like a piece of me is missing.

Have I ever texted while driving? Unfortunately, I have. It's a bad habit that we all could and should avoid. "Oh, but I only looked away for a second." That's exactly why you shouldn't text and drive. Or read and drive. Or turn around and yell at your kids and drive. It only takes a second of distracted driving to have an accident. No text is worth it. If you're ever faced with an actual emergency and need to call or text someone, pull over. Because if you don't, you may end up being the emergency.

In recent weeks, I've noticed many distracted drivers on the road. I've come across a man racing down the interstate texting with both thumbs. Yes, that's right. He didn't have either of his hands on the wheel. I also saw a woman reading something while driving a van full of kids. She actually had a book laid open across her steering wheel. I'm sorry, but the latest Danielle Steel novel can wait until you get home. Ok, so I obviously have no idea what she was reading. Regardless, there's no excuse for distracted driving.


Remember, the most advanced safety feature of any vehicle is the driver. The AAOS and Auto Alliance urge all drivers to keep their most sophisticated safety features engaged at all times: eyes on the road and hands on the wheel. You can go here to learn more about the Decide to Drive campaign. Please share this important message and campaign with others.

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

May 13, 2014

The Talk of Tinseltown
99 Problems, and A Bitch is 1

Bruce Willis welcomed his fifth daughter last Monday with model wife Emma Heming-Willis. Evelyn Penn Willis is now baby sister to 2-year-old Mabel Ray. In addition, Bruce has three grown daughters with Demi Moore. Bruce said in a recent interview that he welcomes the experience of having a son some day. Five girls? It's a good thing he's rich.

I'm sure you've all heard about the Solange Knowles and Jay-Z elevator fight by now. If you haven't, you can watch it here. There's been a lot of speculation about the fight since there's no audio. It seems that Jay-Z angered Solange, Beyoncé's sister, before stepping into the elevator. Things quickly escalated, and for most of the fight, Beyoncé just stands there. Of course, many think this means Beyoncé must have thought he deserved it. Several sources say Solange has a temper and overreacts on the regular. Regardless of the drama, Bey and Jay were all smiles at a Nets game last night. Solange is apparently still bitter because she deleted all pics of big sis on Instagram. Ooh, burn!

Sherri Shepherd, one of The View co-hosts, has split from her husband of three years. Lamar Sally filed for a legal separation on May 2. The couple is expecting a baby together via surrogate in July. He's asking for sole custody, spousal support and the invalidation of their prenuptial agreement. Uh oh, Mr. Sally is clearly pissed off about something. Hopefully these two can work through this together for the sake of their child. Remember parents, your children come before your drama. Always.

Where in the world is radio personality Casey Kasem? According to his children, his current wife has hidden him away after an argument over healthcare and visitation. His kids asked the court to intervene because they are worried about their father's well-being. Kasem suffers from Parkinson's disease. I don't claim to know this family's story, but if his children are loving and active participants in his life, why would you take their father away from them? Rude.

Kelly Rowland wed manager Tim Witherspoon over the weekend in Costa Rica. Beyoncé and Solange Knowles attended and reportedly left for the wedding right after the elevator fight. I'm glad news of the fight broke after Kelly's wedding. Nobody needs their wedding day thunder stolen. PS - I love her. She's so pretty!

This is George Clooney's fiancé's engaement ring rock. Can we all take a moment to hate her together? Ok, the moment has passed. They do seem to make a very lovely couple.

The Talk of Tinseltown is brought to you today by...

Queen Bey

May 08, 2014

How to Pitch a Blogger in 5 Easy Steps

There are probably thousands of posts instructing bloggers how to obtain sponsors and advertisers for their blog. Are there any posts out there instructing businesses on the art of contacting bloggers? I'm not so sure since many of the people who contact me are doing it all wrong.

I receive several emails a week from various businesses and individuals wanting to work with Handbags + Handguns. Some companies want me to put up banners or links. Others want me to share something they've written. From time to time, a business will send me a product to review. I've been given free tickets to events. I've been able to give free stuff to you, my readers. But I'm not so desperate for money and followers that I feel the need to say yes to everything.


Here are 5 tips that can make your business-to-blog pitch successful:

1. When you reach out to bloggers, make sure you get their name right. I recently had a business professional address me as Margarita, not once but twice. Yes, I like to drink margaritas, but my name is Misty.

2. Familiarize yourself with the blog and blogger you're contacting. Look around. Read a few posts. Get a general feel for the topics discussed.

3. When you reach out, tell us who you are, what company you're with and why you think we should work together. Also, please include the link to your company's website. I provided you with my info. Now, please provide me with yours. I won't take the time for a Google search.

4. The first thing I look for in a business-to-blog partnership is whether or not the business, brand and product are relevant to my blog's brand. If there are zero similarities between what you're offering and my brand, you should probably look elsewhere for a partnership. Even though blogging is a business for some of us, we don't want to compromise who we are as bloggers for $20.

5. If I do something for you, I expect you to do something for me.

It's really as simple as that.

We're open to new and exciting ideas, so bring them!

May 07, 2014

Ten Years Later

Yesterday marked ten years since the finale of Friends aired on NBC. On one hand, it seems like our favorite friends have been gone for quite some time. On the other hand, thanks to reruns, it feels like they never left. Speaking of reruns, I'm currently watching The One Where Rachel Has a Baby.

Rachel: How may centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Dr. Long: Three.
Ross: Just three? I'm dilated three!

If you're a Friends fan like me, you've seen every episode countless times. You feel like you actually know Monica, Ross, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe. The jokes are still funny, and you can quote entire episodes.

Joey: Here it is, buddy boy. You hide my clothes? I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh my God, that is so not the opposite of taking someone's underwear.
Joey: Look at me, I'm Chandler. Could I *be* wearing any more clothes?

When trying to come up with a clever post to commemorate Friends ending ten years ago, I came to realize that two of my old posts are perfect. So, I'm working both of them in today. Enjoy!

5 Important Life Lessons I Learned From Friends

Don't ask a guy out unless you're sure he likes you.

Joey: Alright Rach, the big question is, does he like you?
Right, because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.

There are seven basic erogenous zones on a woman's body.

Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. You got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7.
Chandler: There are seven?
Monica: The important thing is to take your time. You want to hit them all, and you want to mix them up.
You gotta keep them on their toes.
Rachel: Ooh, toes!

When getting a spray tan, it's imperative you follow directions.
If you don't, you could end up AN EIGHT!

Chandler: Hold on. There's something different about you.
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Chandler: Was that place... the sun?!

If you can't get your baby to laugh, rap Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back to them.
It works like a charm. Babies love big asses.

Rachel: What did you do to make her laugh?
Ross: I, um.. Well, I sang.. Actually, I rapped Baby Got Back.
Rachel: You what?!
You sang, to our baby daughter, a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with big giant asses?

When your best girlfriend is having a bad day, you grab some beer,
pop some popcorn and sit around in wedding dresses.

Rachel: You know, I gotta tell ya. This really does put me in a better mood.
Monica: I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time.
Maybe someday there will be...

"More important than anything else is the look on people’s faces when you cross paths with them in the street, or in the store, or in the grocery line. You can always tell that you were - maybe still are, maybe always will be - a part of their family." -- Matt LeBlanc // Joey Tribbiani

May 06, 2014

2014 Met Gala Fashion
Best Dressed

OLIVIA MUNN in Diane Von Furstenberg
I typically don't like red carpet cleavage, mostly because women do it wrong.
This dress is sexy and daring, but not trashy.
Her boobs are exactly where they should be.
There's nothing worse than uneven boobs.
She makes yellow RED HOT.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELY in Balmain dress + heels
I kept going back to this one.
There's black. There's gold.
There's leather. There's leopard.
The heels! The earrings!
Seriously, what's not to love?
She looks bad ass.

RIHANNA in Stella McCartney
She looks stunning in white.
And the fit is killer.
I like her messy updo too.

I love the white and black.
I even like the jacket draped over her shoulders.
She makes anything look good.

I typically hate everything they wear.
There's just something about these trench coat dresses that work.
They're matchy, but not too matchy matchy.
Yes, they're big. Yes, they're old fashioned.
That's why it works on them.
They're different, and that's ok.

They're so dang gorgeous. It makes me sick.
Her dress is beautiful.
You can't see it here, but his oxblood tie matched her earrings.
So chic.

EMMA STONE in Thakoon

Emma Stone has landed herself back atop my best dressed list.
I still can't believe a redhead can pull off two shades of pink this well.
I love the crop top, the slit and the back.
Her braid and makeup look great too.
And silver accessories that compliment Spidey's tux.
Come on! She wins.

all images via People, InStyle + Us Weekly

2014 Met Gala Fashion
Ladies, Gents + Cranston

I don't know what NPH and hubby are going for, but I don't like it.
Something about Bradley's tux is off. The fit, maybe?
Benedict's is on point though.

Victoria looks great, but so subdued.
Love Chrissy and John!
Love Bryan!

All I see is Matthew Bomer. He's so pretty.

all images via People, InStyle + Us Weekly

2014 Met Gala Fashion
Word Association

Star Trek, The Jungle Book, Goldie Hawn

Game of Thrones, Gone with the Wind, Leaves of Grass

figure skater, Playboy pajama party, Grandma's afghan

dominatrix princess, cream puff, Grandma's wallpaper

doily, swan, paper shredder

unfortunate, round, meh

all images via People, InStyle + Us Weekly